i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize