I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
