i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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