Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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