go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
