google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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