So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You're breaking my sexual little heart
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
