you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Randomize
