i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
