I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
