READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
