I smell stomach acid.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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