just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Dick very happy bro
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
