the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
