I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
