You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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