Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Randomize
