I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
