girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
