Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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