He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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