brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
