I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
