Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
