I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
