Swine flu. Run for my life!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
wow bdsm is so cute
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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