haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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