ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
