Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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