i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
