spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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