And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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