dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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