Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
