Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
