last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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