Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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