wakey wakey hands off snakey
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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