I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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