oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My liver just broke up with me...
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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