i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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