Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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