So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
