you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
it was like eating out sand paper
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
