margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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