Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
