im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
