i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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