on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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