She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
