Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
