After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My vagina just clenched in fear
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
