Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
