Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
