Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
