is your mom at the bar?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
