ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
