Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
