Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
