did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
