You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
