the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
