Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
