He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
